Missing Wii and Physical Violence

So, today I get home from work. I realize the Nintendo Wii is missing from it's spot on the entertainment center next to our television. Odd! I immediately assume one of the children had pushed it off the entertainment center. I checked.. it's not there. So now I'm bewildered. I ponder for a little while and it dawns on me.. my husband MUST know where it is. So I call and ask him. He say's "I don't know what you're talking about." I'm pissed. How could he not know? I was at work.. he was at home. I asked if he'd left the house or had a friend over and he said "no". I conclude that he's done something .. but what? And why? I inform him that I KNOW he knows where it is.. and that I want to know PRONTO. He insists that he has no idea where the Wii could have gone and that MAYBE someone stole it from the house. Amazing since he was HOME and it was there the day before! So.. it comes down to.. he took it OR someone snuck into the house while he was at home and stole it out of the living room where he was and he didn't notice. Sounds a little fishy huh? It turns into a fight. Shocking right?

I am so mad that he's lying to me that I can hardly see straight. Why is he lying? Why??? Well I still don't know the whole truth.. if any. What he's told me though is this - He CLAIMS he took the Wii and pawned it to help a "friend" of his.. this "friend" I've never met and only heard briefly mentioned ONCE in the past week. This "friend" happens to be a female. This "FRIEND" supposedly is buying a house and called him up out of the blue claiming that she needed $110 for the closing costs on Friday and had NO resources. How is she buying a house if she can't even come up with $110? How is she going to survive? Groceries aren't free! Why is this "FRIEND" calling him when he doesn't know her that well? Why didn't she call her family?

I suspect.. she's not just a friend. Sadly I think she's "the other woman". I think he took the Wii and pawned it for something.. but I doubt it was closing costs on her house. Why would he do that? He was so adament about the fact that he DIDN'T take the Wii.. and that he was angry I was accusing him of it. Only to find out he did take it, pawned it, and for another woman.

I told him I wanted a divorce. Drastic. I was pissed. I don't appreciate being lied to for hours on end and having a guilt trip thrown at me for accusing him of doing exactly what he ended up doing! HE was making me out to be a bad person for figuring out what he'd done! BS!!!

The whole "I want a divorce" thing started a huge fight. I told him I was sick of the lies, I was sick of the guilt trip crap, I'm entirely sick of not having a husband I can trust and this was the final straw for me. I went into the bedroom and sat down just trying to sort through my own emotions. He comes into the room and starts yelling at me. "Hit me, so I can hit you back b*tch". He's never hit me in our entire relationship.. not once. My ex was extremely abusive and he knows all about it. I told him if he ever hit me it would only happen once and I'd call the cops. I didn't do it with my ex until the night before I left for good. I should have done it 2 years earlier. I don't know what on this earth posessed me to do so.. but I stood up in front of him. (He's way bigger than me, taller, muscular, manly.. etc.) I stood there and stared at him. He was so angry he was shaking. I told him "If you want to hit me, go ahead and hit me. If that will make you feel better somehow go ahead." He stepped towards me and stuck his chest out. I backed up.. and bumped into the bed. He stepped towards me again. Panic started to set in for me because it brought up ALL of the crap from my past immediately. I put my hands out and pushed against his chest and told him to BACK UP. He grabbed ahold of me, spun me around threw me on the bed. I landed on my stomach and started to push myself up to stand, he punched me in my shoulder as I was turning my head to look behind me.. his fist slipped off my shoulder and landed right on my jaw. I have a massive bruise, my jaw is killing me, and an instant headache. I started crying and telling him "get out". He stood looking at me, all color drained from his face and he just kept telling me he was "so sorry". "It was an accident" " I didn't mean to hit you". "I came into the room angry and looking for a fight because I wanted the last word, you upset me.". I told him "Get out, just go!".

He left. I have no idea where he went. He sent a text message to my phone that said "I'm so sorry I never mean to treat you bad or touch you in anger." I didn't respond. He sent a 2nd message " I didn't mean to do that you have to believe me. I never want to hurt you or hit your pretty face it was an accident. I feel so bad. I just don't want to lose you or my kids or my way of life. I was just so angry more at myself than you but when you said you were going to take my kids, yourself and my way of life away I was pissed and came in looking for a fight. You pushed me and I lost it. I shouldn't have PLEASE forgive me I don't want this. I want you and I want a happy marriage. We have both been guilty of messing things up and I started it. I wish I could take it all back and start over somehow, but that will never happen. Honey please lets figure this out and make ammends for once. Lets stop putting things over eachothers heads and show eachother the love we crave. Please write me back I really need to hear from you right now."

I didn't respond. I was too busy crying hysterically and reliving having the crap beat out of me by my ex for 2 years. The ONE thing my husband claimed he had never done and would NEVER do.. he just did to me.

2 days later - I'm sitting here at work blogging. All of my husbands clothes are bagged up and sitting on my dinning room table. He refuses to come pick them up. I told him I'm done. I can't take the emotional roller coaster anymore. He makes threats to kill himself when he doesn't get what he wants. He threatens to take the kids from me. He's actually almost killed himself once, he had to be flown by helicopter to the hospital and revived. I can't do this anymore. I'm not sure if he's emotionally abusing me by doing this or not.. but I know that I'm a stressed out mess and I've lost 20lbs in the last 2 months because of everything that's been going on.

We have 3 children. The oldest was at her great grandmother's house for the weekend so she didn't witness or hear any of this. The younger 2 were home. They're 1 and almost 3. They were both asleep during the entire fiasco.


Am I wrong in assuming there is something more going on with this woman than him simply helping a supposed friend? I wouldn't go behind his back and sneak something out of our house to pawn to help a friend. I would have talked to him about it.

Am I being to drastic in wanting a divorce over this? I don't know.. I keep going back and forth. I love him to death, but I'm also so mad and hurt by what he's been doing and the LIES are making me insane. There is so much more than just this one incident.

I'm scared. I don't want to be a single mother of 3. But I don't want my kids growing up like this either. My job doesn't pay well enough for me to afford the house and 2 car payments, in addition to all the bills on my own. I seriously doubt he'll help out financially.. he's not even working as it is. The only thing that's keeping us afloat at the moment is his unemployment. His credit is shot from his first marriage/past/who knows the whole truth at this point. Both vehicles were totally financed under my name alone. I asked him to return the vehicle he's been driving and he refuses. "You aren't going to cripple me like that, you only want it back to hurt me" is his response. I want it because I'm legally responsible for the debt, and I know he won't make the payments. I want posession of it so I can sell it if it comes down to it. He doesn't want to give it up 1. he won't have anyway to get where he wants to go. 2. he has NO means to get anything else to drive.